What are these? Peanut butter ball walnut Macadamia cookies?

I don’t know, man. I just made them. I had an idea for a cookie to make, that would be like what you see here.

I mean you know, yeah. Pretty much that. It’s a cookie, with nothing in it, just a regular ol’ biscuit, then I used this sweet new cookie cutter kit with 15 different circle sizes to cut the biscuits into perfect circles, then used a wee one to core a bit in the middle. I plopped a peanut butter ball in there, covered it in chocolate, then sprinkled walnuts on top. And then I covered the rest of the cookie in white chocolate, and sprinkled Macadamia nuts on it. It took a long time. I made 24.

So let’s talk about these, man. Also I took these pictures with my Pentax Q and I’m trying out a new photo editing suite. I like my Pentax Q, but not for flash photography, and I do not like this new photo editing software.

I did not expect them to look like egg UFOs or whatever they ended up looking like, but they’re super adorable so whatever.
Here’s one cut in half so you can get an idea of how I cored it out and how flat my cookies were. I think my baking soda is dead. Anyway, onward to steps and ingredients.

— Below is an optional wall of text wherein I poorly edit my thoughts on how I did this. It is not essential you read this. –These are labor intense, if you went at it all out with an optimized workflow, I’d guess you can get done in about three and a half hours, but I took my time and did it in about six. So let’s word vomit what I did so you can get an idea. I made the peanut butter balls first, which are pretty straightforward, put them in the fridge while I whipped together the cookies. I used two half sheet pans and this did not provide enough space for 12 a piece of these at 30g a piece. They spread out an awful lot, your mileage may vary, but be away of pan space if you’re not going to cut them into perfect circles like I did. Which I decided to do when I saw my cookies were sticking together. Anyway. After I baked the biscuits (I will be using biscuits and cookies interchangeably, I’m active in a lot of international online communities where people call them biscuits, I’m assimilating) I let them cool, cored them, put ’em back in the fridge, and started prepping melting my chocolate. I have a sweet ass chocolate melter, you can melt your chocolate however you like. While my chocolate was coming up to temp I took out my peanut butter ball uhh, unball, just like the mass I mad mixed together, 25g a piece, and plorped them into the holes I cored out. By the time I had plorped all the balls into all the holes my chocolate was ready, so I coated ’em and when I was all done, I took my walnuts (I bought pre crushered or whatever the word is walnuts) and sprinkled ’em on. Let ’em cool, started prepping the white chocolate, then took ’em out, and did my white chocolate coating, sprinkled on my Macadamia nuts, saw I had some white chocolate leftover, so I added a li’l white chocolate drizzle on top.
— Okay it’s over, the semi-relevant wall of text is over

There are a lot of ways to make peanut butter balls, but I do it the metric way, which is the easiest way.
Peanut Butter: 360g
Butter: 45g
Powdered Sugar: 180g
Vanilla Extract: 3g

— Rambling about how the metric system is superior below, you may skip 
Do you see why this is so easy and why metric is the best way to measure this stuff out? 360g of peanut butter, half that amount of powdered sugar, and 45g of butter, which is a quarter the amount of powdered sugar. And 3g of Vanilla extract? The total weight is 585g, .5% of 585 is what? 2.925! Whaaaaaaaaaat! Mmhmm you keep using your pinches and tablespoons, I’ll be over here in grown up land using easily ratios that can be easily scaled. By the way this recipe made about 30% extra, I just coated the extras in leftover chocolate. You could make 30% less, and since you use metric, it’s really easy.
— I’m done whinging about customary units

So uh, I’m sure there are a lot of ways to do this and a right way and a wrong way that yield largely similar results, I’m really not keen to argue about that, but here’s what I did and it worked for me. I melted the better on the stove on the lowest setting, only let it get about half melted so what remained was nice and squishy, then I took it off heat, and set it aside. I splorped out my 360g of peanut butter into my stand mixer bowl, then poofed in the powdered sugar, and let it mix. Then I took my butter that I had let cool while I did all that, and skiddled it in. Skiddled it in what the hell? And let it mix. After which, into a covered container it went and into the fridge while we make biscuits.

The Cookies.
Flour300g
Baking Powder: 12g
Salt: 2g

Butter200g
Brown Sugar: 250g
Egg: One, and one yolk
Vanilla Extract: Whatever like 10ish.

All right man cookies, get real they’re cookies, even people who say they can’t cook can make cookies. You take a bowl and you mix in the first three ingredients, then whisk it together. Got a sifter? Great use it. Don’t have one? Who cares. Take your butter and soften it, I like to put it on the stovetop on low in a saucepan, cut the butter into thin pieces, like 50mm thick, toss it in there, when it’s half melted, take it off heat and mix it around, maybe mush it into smaller pieces with a fork. While that’s cooling, do other things, like get your wet ingredients together. You know, egg, vanilla extract, brown sugar. Egg at room temp is ideal, for some reason, I don’t really know why. Prep all this in another bowl. I’m sure there’s an ideal order to mix things together, but whatever. I put the brown sugar in my stand mixer bowl, add the egg and the vanilla extract, mix loosely, add butter, let the stand mixer do it’s thing, then add the dry bowl in about a quarter at a time, which turns into a quarter, a third, then screw it put the rest in. It’s a stand mixer who cares it does everything for you. Mix together, if you don’t have a stand mixer, do it by hand. A stand mixer is better. Mix well, let cool in fridge for a bit, 30 minutes is good, an hour is better. Roll into 25g balls on parchment paper, space out based on your test cookie (you did a test cookie, right?), bake at 170 for 11 minutes, or 12, something like that. Your oven’s different than mine, do a test cookie first. 170 is 340 in ANU.

So you bake ’em and let ’em cool, if you’re a dope like me you find out 30g balls expand way more than you thought, so really a 25g ball is fine. I did a test cookie and then I made assumptions about spacing and half of them ended up a together mutant cookie. So I cut them out into circles with cookies cutters because whatever. So stick to 25g unless you want cut the excess off and make perfect circles like I did.

Onward to peanut butter balls, chocolate, and nuts.

When I put the cookies in the fridge for cooling, I made my peanut butter balls, 25g a piece, and set them aside. By the time that was done, it was time to cut the cookies. Remember, I’m an idiot and mine were too big, so I had to cut them out in circles. You don’t have to suffer my mistakes, and I don’t even think it’s necessary to core out the middle like I did, but I did it anyway. I have a small cookie cutter that I used, you can find something, or just not do it. I knew the chocolate was going to hold the peanut butter ball anyway, but I thought the ideal of a peanut butter ball hole was neat. So you can cut the middle, or not. I did. After that I plopped the 25g peanut butter balls in there and back into the fridge while I prepped the chocolate dressing.

Milk chocolate dressing
Milk chocolate: 300g
Shortening: 20g
Crushered Walnuts: 200g

So I started cutting back on the amount of shortening I add to my chocolate. Seems to work out. I ended up with about 120g of leftover, you can adjust the ratio for less, but I always like to make a bit more just in case, plus I can always cut it up later and add to something, or melt it down and use again. I use my dedicated chocolate melter, a double boiler works too, so does the half assed double boiler of a sauce pan that fits well over a pot. Fill the pot about 15% full of water, and get it close to a boil, add your shortening, stir in your chocolate, let it get all melty, and mixy, then it’s time to drizzle. Remember, prep and mess. Prepare your space ahead of time. I have a dressing spoon I use, you can use a tablespoon, that’d be fine, no one would know or care I have a fancy spoon unless I told you. Anyway, coat ’em. Once you coat ’em all, add your walnuts and into the fridge. Guess what we do while it’s cooling? We start our white chocolate, woo!

White chocolate dressing
White chocolate:
550g
Shortening: 35g
Crushered Macadamia nuts: 200g

After it’s done cooling, about 30 minutes in the fridge, start the same deal as above but with white chocolate. Melt it, coat it, add your Macadamia nuts, and into the fridge. I had to be careful about filling in all the nooks and crannies from where the milk chocolate melted over the nut covered balls, and be aware of how the chocolate was flowing out of my spoon as I was doing it. So be careful, and have some potassium beforehand! I ended up with some leftover white chocolate, so I added a little white drizzle over the nut and chocolate peanut balls.

That was a lot of steps but here’s how mine looked.

A lot of the innuendo in this article was intentional.

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